My Story To Tell..

As some of you know my family and I were expecting a baby in the fall. It was a surprise to find out that my 41 year old butt could even conceive this late in my years. I already have 3 beautiful daughters, ages 21, 13, and 7 and they are the LOVE of my life. My Big Brother also have 3 beautiful daughters of his own, so when I got pregnant you can say that the "whole" family was hoping for that Bouncing Baby Boy.

I don't know if this is TMI but this is my blog and I feel this is my therapy to talk about it. 
The morning started out great, got the family together and prepared for the long 30 minute journey to my Doctors Office. I really love my doctor she delivered my baby girl Nile and we searched high and low for her to deliver our new baby.

We got to the doctor office waited about 30 minutes for nurse to call us for my Ultrasound. We went in, I'm the kind of mother that wants my children to experience everything. I don't hold anything back or hide situations for my girls. I got on the table and the nurse measured my tummy.  Looking good so far.

Nurse: Are you sure Jan 1st was your 1st day of your last period?  The baby is only measuring 8 weeks the doctor may have to change your due date..

Me: Yes it is, I'm very regular, you can time my periods. I'm a walking clock. LOL 

Nurse: Let's look at the heartbeat. (Silence for a couple on seconds, then it happened) I can't see anything. Let's look a little closer.
 (still no heartbeat).
I really want to do a probe to make sure we aren't missing anything. 

                     The girls and Mo left the room. I had to undress and we took another look at the baby closer and still .......there was nothing.

So to make a long story short, I was at 10 weeks and lost the baby at 8 weeks with no signs. Heartbroken and confused, I had no words. Tears just flowed and when my family can back in the room, I covered my eyes and to hide the pain but couldn't.  I felt like a wounded animal lying on the side of the road, who just got struck by a Mack Truck. The pain wasn't in my stomach it was in my heart. My husband held and told me it was going to be OK, the girls also hugged and kissed me. Got myself together to talk to the my doctor and being that I'm older, I knew the risk and this isn't my first miscarriage. I lost a set of twins in 1999. So, I do understand the pain of losing children. It's not easy but it puts things in a better perspective on handling the situation.

I was given meds to pass the baby and meds for the pain. On bed rest of a couple of days and moving around better.

My girls are doing fine, but my hubby and I have our down moments but we call each other and check on one another.
I really don't know what else to say, but keep us in your prayers and we are getting through this with GOD'S HELP!
Thanks for listening..




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